our story

My husband and I married in 1987 and found out that year that we couldn't have children. Both of us are infertile, and the only way we would have children would be with assisted reproductive technology. We got accepted onto a program straight away and I started taking Clomid and having DI. After 8 failed treatments it was decided (I was only 21 and really didn't have a concept of what was going on) that we needed to pursue IVF.

Failure after failure a severe bout of hyperstimulation syndrome falling pregnant, only to loose 9 babies at 13 weeks, changing clinics and doctors hoping someone else might have new ideas. ICSI came and went from our lives, 4 failed attempts. At that we decided that we'd had enough for the moment and took a break. So many emotions going around in my head, guilt at miscarrying babies and killing them without knowing why, the shame of not being ale to do what everyone else could do without even trying.

After 12 years of trying, we (or more me) decided that I still wasn't ready to give up so we found our third clinic and a wonderful professor who thought he might be able to help. We spoke to another professor about miscarriages and he wanted to start me on a drug called Fragmin and this may keep my babies alive. We decided on ovulation induction with OI and started a treatment cycle. I was absolutely terrified, I didn't want to fail and then kill another baby. We prayed for guidance and after that first cycle, I fell pregnant. I was 32 and had been actively trying to have a baby for 12 years. The first 3 months were sheer hell, we were frightened to be excited even through the 8 week scan showed everything was okay (the other 8 wee scan had also shown that the babies were okay). My Fragmin injections along with aspirin everyday proved to be our saving grace.

We delivered a healthy baby girl in June 1999 and another girl in August 2000 and our 3rd little angel was born in July 2002. I'm currently having the same treatment to have another baby, so along with our adopted son; this will bring our family to 5. It hasn't been easy, it hasn't been fun, but it has strengthened our marriage, we have been through more in the last 16 years that most people do in a lifetime. I love that he never said to me "you have to stop" even though at times he has found it difficult to sit back and watch me in pain.

If you are reading this then you are undergoing or hoping to undergo Assisted Reproductive Technology or some sort, all I can say is it was worth the wait, the hurt, the pain, the embarrassment. It has made me strong and I believe a better mother. I pray that you too will be successful in your pursuit to have a baby or that if you can't you will find peace and love within your marriage. The ultimate dream has been ongoing for 17 years. There are no quick fixes or easy ways out of infertility. The long haul has been worth it for us. Maybe it will be for you too.