helen's story

My name is Helen. I'm 39 and now 21 weeks pregnant. Writing this is both a privilege and painful, chiefly because I recognise how fortunate I've been. But I hope this account of fertility treatment, and those of others, can offer you peace, perspective and encouragement. My sub fertility disorder is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). It has significantly affected my menstrual cycle for over twenty years. Thankfully, I have not been overly troubled by obesity, acne or hirsutism (just don't look at my legs!) My husband, Brett, and I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters, conceived naturally when I was in my late twenties and early thirties. At this time I was still able to track ovulation although it happened infrequently.

As a family we had hoped for another baby for nearly three years. There was a sense, especially in me, that we were waiting for another member. We first attended Westmead Fertility Centre in July 2002, thirteen months before my pregnancy was confirmed. Looking back, I'm sure our nurse interview only demonstrated how much we still had to learn but our understanding nurse gave us a realistic briefing, which helped to set our course. Over eleven months I underwent four unsuccessful treatment cycles of ovulation induction and intra-uterine insemination. On the third attempt I had an early miscarriage or biochemical pregnancy of 3-4 weeks.

Following discussions with my doctor, I accessed a fifth attempt, which was successful. The logistical exercise was difficult with ongoing work and school commitments, other appointments, sometimes daily blood tests, collecting medications and having scans. Daily phone calls were sometimes a pain: the nurses were tremendous but it seemed Westmead topped and tailed our days. In retrospect, through, this was all part of our growth as a family. We were needing to be open to the process whatever the outcome.

We met some magnificent people at Westmead. When we could we would enrich the trips by finding cafes, parks and the chapel (Level 2): seeking out people rather than turning inwards. This was conscious though not easy process which, emotional speaking, got us through. Conception only happened for us at the point of letting go: giving it over to God. This involved prayer, the prayers of trusted friends and partnership with the doctor and nursing team. We needed to learn this over a full thirteen months. We found that ovulation induction and intrauterine insemination was not a transaction based on expectation but a practical hope based on relationships, trust and gratitude for what we'd been given already.

It was humbling to have some skin torn off as expectations gave way to acceptance. But, if it hadn't been that way, I'd have had nothing left for now: no emotional of physical energy for pregnancy, delivery, nightshifts with the baby, or my family. I encourage you to really talk to the nurses and others in the waiting room. It's important for the Fertility Centre to be a cheerful place and it's better than the waiting room coffee. Keeping you all in my prayers